This is just my experience and observation at a job dealing with coworkers who had ADHD; lots of busy work, and not much gets done. Lots of talk about team work, but in reality, lots of drama. So what gives? And how can you cope with, and even help, a friend, family member or coworker with ADHD?
#1: Remain calm, centered and grounded yourself, and refuse to get involved with drama.
#2: Maintain the position of the “observer”. It’s not your job to take sides, or get involved in solving other people’s problems. Step back, and see what’s really going on, outside of any emotional reaction you may have.
#3: Maintain your energetic boundaries; this does not strictly relate to those with ADHD, but don’t allow anyone to “pull” on your energy, your emotions, or your time. You don’t need to get emotionally involved with their “stuff”, or be seduced into doing extra work, as a “friend”, or in the name of being a “team player”. (Of course, if the person in question is your boss, this might be a trickier situation!)
#4: Although the above three points say to not get drawn in or involved, that does not mean you can’t help; by remaining calm, centered, grounded, in the position of the observer, you are helping by not fanning the fires.
#5: You can make suggestions, as needed, and as it seems appropriate, to suggest ways to organize time, remind them of what they need to do, and yes, help out with tasks…. BUT, don’t do this as a “mother hen”, a “but-in-ski”, or as a critic. Remember, it’s not your problem, you are just making a suggestion!